My Experiences (even the worst) Only Made Me Stronger and Wiser.. Here's HOW !

Hello Fellow Humans and Faithful Readers,

It's a Saturday Night - 11:30 PM , 28th February 2015. I'm sure most of you are out having a blast and living up your weekend with your loved ones and friends. Good for you !!!!

I , on the other hand am sat home tonight , suddenly coerced by my current surroundings to Blog on this warm and breezy night.

Sat here, with a cup of Twinings best tea, I reflect on my very short life of 26 years out of which 12 were great , 11 were traumatic and the very recent 3, Humbling and Blessed.

I can't get down to the very detail of it but let's just say some experiences in my life had left me feeling worthless in my own skin, unsettled in my own mind, had me looking down on myself for years on end, had me doubting every move I made, and made me lose my shine and charm everyone said I had as a young girl.

From Judgemental People within the family circle , to friends and teachers who thought I was a lost cause and then to significant others who deemed me Listless and Clueless.



My most developmental years were spent in a place that was very different to my upbringing, moorings and ideals and put me into a place of absolute confusion and darkness. I was crying out for help by acting out in a million different ways but I was too young, confused and lost to express myself perfectly and neither could those around me remotely fathom what I was going through.

I decided to begin living an independent life at a bright age of 17 . Just out of high school, I started working a full time job while putting myself through a college degree via correspondence.

I worked well and did myself proud and was never looked at in the light of a simple high school grad even on the day I went for my first interview at a multinational computer technology company and got accepted the same day, might I add.

That day, I was a young lady full of gusto & confidence ready to take on this corporate life and everything else that came along with it. I started work the very next day.

During this time, I worked hard to make end's meet. One doesn't get paid those fat cheques when all you have is a high school certificate. I lived in a 100 Sq/Ft One bedroom (literally one bedroom with a bed and a study table and an attached bathroom). Friends and Family who knew me/raised me in the life I had, were quite shocked when they saw me living this life for obvious reasons. I, on the other hand was a far cry away from giving up on the life I started.

I admit , there were tough times and difficult days when I thought, I might have made the wrong choice but there was always a voice inside my head telling me "This too shall pass" and so it did.

There were days when all I had were a few bucks and half a month to get through. There were days when I didn't have enough to eat full meals or money to buy myself bottled mineral water and days when all I lived was on a packet of chips and some pickles because it was the cheapest food available. I'm sure this gives you an idea of my financial status.

However, at the end of each day, I was at peace with myself.

Years went on this way . In a couple years, I landed a better job with a better pay , moved into a bigger place, one that had a kitchen and a little living room and Alas !! I couldn't have felt happier.

I had just entered my 20's and life seemed good. I had sorted things out with my family and they were starting to accept the life I'd chosen for myself.

Tough days were ahead. My little world that comprised of my job mostly and a few loved ones, didn't seem to give me complete satisfaction and I looked for inspiration at every nook and cranny.

Friends, Guys of Interest weren't any source of inspiration . One really gets to know who their real friends and loved one's are in Trying Times.

I then found inspiration from things and those I loved and those things that made me happy. At the end of the day, it most certainly is about being happy and content. Don't you think ?
I got back into music. Music and singing was, is and will always be one passion of mine that always get's me feeling better about life.

Later, I started feeling a strong spiritual vacuum and I restarted living a spiritually conscious life. A life where you give more than you take, A life where you find solace in the simple things and the gift of this Life itself. I think this was a stage in my life that really changed things around for me.

The good stayed. The worst I kicked out. 

I was at more peace with myself and the world around me because I no more blamed circumstances, people and situations.

I exercised Strong Faith, Hoped all Things and Loved all Things. 

I'm sure there are millions out there who've been through worse or been through more trying times and situations than I have but I always seem to come across quite a few or get a sense that there are still some humans out there like you and me who accept their LOT in life and feel they've got to live with it just because that's what they've been served.

I've learned, Life is what YOU make of it and not what it tries to make of you. There is ALWAYS a WAY to set things right and take control of your own life even if you've been served unfairly.

I've heard many people say and quote so proudly:

"When Life gives you Lemons , You make Lemonade"(What a load of Crap!!)

I Say, When Life gives you Lemons, Don't Make Lemonade. GET MAD !! and Yell !! 
"I don't want your damn lemons. What am I supposed to do with these? **** your Lemons.

All the lemon's I got served ; I didn't accept them and Hell! I didn't make lemonade. I threw them back at the Rue that served them and worked towards getting me some serious Apples and Oranges and then some....
Took me time and still takes me time but I always find me a shiny sweet apple or a bold orange.

Today, I am Happy, I am Content, I Love and I Live. 

All in All, each lemon and each experience made me stronger, wiser, tougher, better, kinder and most of all , made me realize how important it is to Love and Live.

Without Love, Self Sacrificing Love, Hopeless Love, Unconditional Love and THE WILL TO LIVE, You are Nada.

 It is now, 2:30 AM and although it seems like I could go on, it's only fair that I close this post now.

Until next time I leave you with this :

Love,

Frieda

That's Life !!!

Hello, Masah al Khair und Guten Tag All My Lovely Fellow Humans,

It has been quite a while since I last posted on my blog however I am so glad to have found a glorious muse that helped me get back into it.

"That's Life !!!!"



How many times we have said it... How many times we have felt it... How many times we have lived it..!!

Today.. I say it !! I feel it !! I live it !!

Sometimes in life, things are meant to be and not to be, but as human as we are, we try to go against all odds and make things work.
It takes time, It takes patience, It takes work, It takes commitment and It takes a whole lot of Sacrifice.

Today I'm happy, I'm content, I'm grateful, I'm thankful and most of all I love being Me and I thank everyone who's helped make that happen and a special one who's made it all the more worth it !!! You know who you are.

I've reached this stage , without a plan, without a phased approach. I went through a whole lot of Literal Rubbish to get here but I am living every second of a good life to the fullest knowing that someday, one fine day, It'll all be worth it and "That's Life".

A great person once said "Cut It.. And Chill.. Life Makes It's Way"

I agree a 100% but then Life is what you make it.. isn't it ?? and It's all about making each day count. Whether it works in your favor or not ??? Well That's Life isn't It :)

In the words of an all time favorite singer/artist - Frank Sinatra

"That's life, that's what people say
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June

I said, that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine old world it keeps spinnin' around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race 

That's life, I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting, baby
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself layin' flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life, that's life
And I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come here this July
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die
My, my "

Eternal Love,
Frieda

"Never Forget Your Parents" said Franklin Pierce Adams

"They've worried and cared whenever we hurt, with words always loving, though sometimes quite curt.
They may have made blunders but always have cared, and good times alike they have shared."

(The two latter verses are a light foundation that sets the tone for the powerful ballad that comes to stage below)

To all my lovely readers,

Today, I quote a popular ballad composed by the famous 

"Franklin Pierce Adams"( Born-Nov 15,1881,New York City). 

He was an American Columnist well known by his initials F.P.A., and Wit, best known for his newspaper column "The Conning Tower", and his appearance as a regular panelist on Radio's "Information Please" . A prolific writer of light verse. 

"Never Forget Your Parents"

A young man once was sitting

Within a swell cafe,

The music it was playing sweet--

  The people was quite gay.

But he alone was silent,

  A tear was in his eye--

A waitress she stepped up to him, and

  Asked him gently why.

He turned to her in sorrow and

  At first he spoke no word,

But soon he spoke unto her, for

  She was an honest girl.

He rose up from the table

  In that elegant cafe,

And in a voice replete with tears

  To her he then did say:

Never forget your father,

  Think all he done for you;

A mother is a boy's best friend,

  So loving, kind, and true,

If it were not for them, I'm sure

  I might be quite forlorn;

And if your parents had not have lived

  You would not have been born.

A hush fell on the laughing throng,

  It made them feel quite bad,

For most of them was people, and

Some parents they had had.

Both men and ladies did shed tears.

  The music it did cease.

For all knew he had spoke the truth

  By looking at his face.

The waitress she wept bitterly

  And others was in tears

It made them think of the old home

  They had not saw in years.

And while their hearts was heavy and

  Their eyes they was quite red.

This brave and honest boy again

  To them these words he said:

Never forget, etc.

Take The "HIGHWAY"

Good afternoon, Guten Tag, and Masah Al Khair,

This Review/Thought/Article of mine has been inspired on many levels by the movie
"HIGHWAY" - starring 'Randeep Hooda' & Alia Bhatt directed by Imtiaz Ali.

Let me start by saying that I was absolutely floored by Randeep Hooda and Alia Bhatt's acting skills. I cant think of ANY two actors who could have pulled off such RAW and HUMANE Roles. All credit goes to the amazing Imtiaz Ali who directed this piece of ART and Why I call it a piece of Art, I will explain below.

                                             This is my take on "HIGHWAY"

The movie show's two characters from two different strata's of society drawn into SPELL-BINDING Moments of Brutality, Truth and Trust that bring out a strange connection between the two.

There are these precious moments of vulnerability and softness in the character of a have-not leader of a local brute gang (Randeep Hooda)  in charge of the young girl's abduction and then the freedom and truth in the character of the young girl(Alia Bhatt) who finds so much peace and inner rest in the company of her kidnapper rather than the twisted and fake home she feels no sense of belonging in.

The character of Veera (Alia Bhatt) is one of INNOCENCE yet she has a sense of Extreme Maturity when it comes to dealing with the idiosyncrasies of this Hot-Headed Don (Mahabir Bhati ).
She has an INFECTIOUS effect on this gang-leader who even through his tough, angry shell , feels for her and is at times baffled by her innocent yet quirky nature (pataka guddi that she is ;) )

In the scene where Veera opens up about the immoral acts she was coerced into with her uncle in the movie, you definitely can feel the pain she exudes, but is immensely relieving for her to share her deepest darkest secrets with her kidnapper (something she wasn't comfortable expressing to people she was related to by BLOOD and even if she did, she would find so solace.)

Randeep Hooda  has for sure, put in hours,days,weeks of work in understanding how the local Gujjar gangs speak, act, eat, stand, look, stare etc. However, even in his ragged clothes there was a sense of awesomeness about him which I am still yet to decide if it was due to the fact that he is THE Suave Randeep Hooda or if it's the Rugged, Raw Role he played of Mahabir Bhati.

Now I'm not a fluent speaker of Hindi, neither is it my mother tongue, hence there was a lot in the movie I wasn't able to understand but the accent and attitude he pulled off in his dialogues were downright real. I can say that much because I've heard a lot of people speak that way in North India and it's usually the drivers and the rickshaw-walas so Mr. Hooda gets full credit for that. He was Bang-ON.
Even his complete and absolute silence in some parts of the movie CRIED OUT.

ALL in ALL, I think I made more of a Real Connection with Randeep Hooda since HIGHWAY - not that he would really be concerned that I did - but The way he played his role I feel said more about HIM as a PERSON (not that I'm judging) but it's nice to know there's some REAL Actors out there, who don't mind rolling up their sleeves and getting down and dirty once in a while. I feel he isn't a fake, even through his interviews he sounded grounded and down-to-earth and genuine which is hard to find in Men, leave alone Actor's these days.

The character of Mahabir Bhati played by Randeep Hooda is by far, honestly one that I'm most impressed with. Impressed and relevant to the extent that I was in tears in most parts of the movie while people around me and behind me at the theater sat laughing. It was EMOTIONAL RIDE throughout.

HIGHWAY - especially gives us an understanding into the lives of the have-not class of people we usually tend to stay away from, of course within Reason.
However there is a reason they are the way they are.
Life is tougher for them than for us, Life is more unfair to them than to us, and most of the time it is this way solely because they were unfortunate enough to have been born into a certain class of society we deem fit and unfit to approve of. It isn't fair. Of course it is not always the case.. I may stand corrected but there are various dynamics which strive on the culture and country they belong to.

Many components of the movie made so much sense to me and I felt a personal connection with the movie and the message it was trying to convey.
After the movie, I heard many say that there was no real "MORAL" of the story in the movie.
To Limit this movie - HIGHWAY to just a Moral would be unfair. There are a million messages in this movie through every scene and I'm so glad I got mine.

I'm hoping the director of this film IMTIAZ ALI , the cast and other contributors would understand that their Movie made a 100% sense to at'least ONE Viewer. (if not many)

In Reflection to the my latter notes, I contribute the below :-

Life takes us many places, 
through different routes, 
over different obstacles, 
through dark tunnels, 
through strange tracks,
complicated Roads,
Scary Highways 
and Meets us with most unassuming characters and surely one day,
You will find that one person who puts your life either in perspective or in motion.
You will find that one person who will be your SAFE HAVEN,
even if they have nothing to their name but their name.
Someday, your plush home, your expensive wardrobe, and expensive pleasures will seem to be futile among'st the FAKE INHUMANE REASON your stab yourself with.
Take the "Highway" 
(please don't wish to be kidnapped, neither try to make friends with local goons and gangmembers)

Love,
Frieda

ReArranging The Stuff In Your Life.

Got up this morning and braced myself to take the cold outside and go running and Boy! Did I feel good..

Heartbeat gets racing and you breathe in the fresh chill air ..Nothing could beat it... Leaving me Feeling Good about Life once again.

It inspired me to blog today about something we all have to do at some point in our life - REARRANGE

Sometimes Life just builds these huge roadblocks or barriers that you need to fight through everyday.

I could say I've hit many if not a few big ones to get to this very day - 21st January 2014 and one thing I've learned is that Fighting through each day can be so much harder than Rearranging. 

Example: Your kitchen cupboard - When you see your cups and bowls are harder to find and you always end up knocking something over in the pursuit to pick out one particular cup your'e looking for, you don't just drag them all out and throw them .. neither do you break them all.. You Just REARRANGE.

Example: Your Wardrobe - When your clothes are in a mess, I'm sure we hardly just throw them all out the window. We just pick out a good time to think through a process of arranging them and we REARRANGE. Your socks in a sock drawer.. Your Delicates in another.. You Hang up all your clothes..Your Suits, Your Party Dresses etc etc...                    

Just REARRANGE

Sometimes and this happens most times , when we little humans hit a wall in life's everyday pursuits, instead of thinking it through and working our way around it, we find it easiest to abandon or just break it down or throw it away.

I've learned it so much easier and wiser to just prioritize, take stock of what's holding you back and REARRANGE. It might take longer and might require stability to do it well but it's better than being irrational and making big hasty decisions that leave you regretting later.

Many might say that well sometimes you just don't have an option but to throw some stuff out...like the old stuff...the rotten stuff.. {like your old clothes than have gathered moss}... or old stuff that just spoiled over time.. and I agree.. Sometimes you do have to get rid of the Rotten Stuff... like bad choices, the wrong people who have had no good influence or are just no good being a part of your world, bad habits and Well, we all have a List :)

I think my morning run has just inspired me to write this much today or usually I'd rant on...

Before I end, I just want to implore all those who get a chance to read this out there that 

Your Life can be much easier and give you true happiness, If you just REARRANGE and PRIORITIZE. 

You don't need to really get banged up to realize this much. 

Take it from someone who's gone through a lot more than a 25 Year old should. 

Today I'm 25 and I am loving life to the fullest after a long time and I have my priorities right and I'm happy today and I know it's only going to get better every single day. I love my whole family and I think of each one of them who's played such an important role and being part of this Gift Of Life.  

When the day comes and I'm having a bad one, I will first JUST REARRANGE. 

Good Day, Guten Tag and Masah Al Khair.

Love

Frieda

Dont Dream Your Life... Live Your Dreams ....

Good Day, Guten Tag and Masah Al Khair People...

I know I have A Dream... I'm not writing this article today to share it however I want to talk about the reality of having a dream and what some of us think are and are not possible and how we let go of our dreams. The different factors that influence our dreams and influence our journey towards either achieving them or abandoning them.
This however would be in regard to the process of us humans 'Dreaming' while we sleep. I've been thinking that this "Dream" is not very far from being related to the way we think about our Actual Dreams in day-to-day life. Things we wish for, People we wish to be with, Goals we wish to Achieve etc etc.
It would be very easy for us to think that the dreams we wish to turn into reality are nothing else but dreams , just like a dream we would see in our sleep and forget the next morning. That would make life very simple I feel and boring and it would be unjust on our parts to let ourselves lay that way.
It is because great humans had dreams, and worked towards making it a reality, we have electricity, phones, television, laptops, computers, cars etc etc and i mean the number of scientific or technological innovations are not all known to us but it's out there for those like u and me to find someday and appreciate and utilise and THANK the creator of that particular THING.

As a reference to my article I read, Late Psychotherapist Sigmund Freud developed a theory that the content of dreams is driven by unconscious wish fulfilment. Freud called dreams the "royal road to the unconscious." He theorised that the content of dreams reflects the dreamer's unconscious mind and specifically that dream content is shaped by unconscious wish fulfilment. He argued that important unconscious desires often relate to early childhood memories and experiences. Freud's theory describes dreams as having both manifest and latent content. Latent content relates to deep unconscious wishes or fantasies while manifest content is superficial and meaningless. Manifest content often masks or obscures latent content.

We are being Followers, We are being those that "ALSO" ran.



It's not a bad thing to be a follower, we all are but one way of looking at this is IF you have a DREAM that you see is achievable even 50 Years down the line or 30 Years down the line, DON'T STOP until you Achieve it and more so for those who can turn their dreams into a reality sooner.

WHY? It's but fair that you give yourself that chance and but natural that you pursue such a great FEAT.

People have this unimaginably strong power to convince themselves and you that your" NOT WORTH IT ". Funny thing is, it's just up to YOU to to prove yourself "WORTH IT". No One else can do it, feel it, run after it and achieve it - FOR YOU.

Now, Many of us in our lives are so bound to family, responsibility, society, community, country, that we forget each one of us has a purpose here on this Earth.

If your not going to fulfil that purpose, I can tell you this, 40 years down the line when your sitting old and wrinkly, alone or with your faithful partner, YOU WILL LOOK BACK and TAKE STOCK of the things you wished and dreamt could have come true but you were too busy. It probably still isn't too late but now you have this wonderful GIFT called AGE and it's only increasing 365 days at a time.



All in All, I feel it's now or never. You either take the plunge on going after your dreams and working hard to get there or this brutal world is just going to pass by and you wont even know it.

The only way to do this is "Never Stop Investing In Yourself". Whatever medium it's through, doesn't matter as long as your doing it knowing deep inside it's surely going to help you achieve.

Of course there are always ups and downs, you might get beat halfway but then you start now and it might just take you a few mistakes to get there, as opposed to waiting for the opportune time (there never is the opportune time) and then making a hundred mistakes before you finally do or do not get what you want.

Sometimes, I love this world, Sometimes I don't. It has much to offer and sometimes it takes away your will to live. Life is such a gift and you and I can only appreciate if we get our worth out of it. Only way we can do that, is if we follow our dreams and achieve the goals we want to.




Good Night, Tisbah-ala-khair, Guten Nacht..
Frieda

Men and Women are not equal - Yeah!!

Good morning, Guten Morgen and Sabah Al Khair ...
Its been a while since I took some time out to write but I finally am feeling a little settled and empowered to do so :)

A Shout out to all my readers who've been supportive throughout...Keep reading :) and I'm still waiting to hear your stories.

Today I'm going to express my thoughts on something that's still controversial in this day and age and it seeps into a man and woman's life from childhood through their transition to adulthood, her career, her relationships, marriage etc.
Now as I've stated my Blog is about a lot of things - Love,Life,Leisure & Labour and my last few article's have been about issues more so pertaining to woman and the stuff we go through and many would probably read and in turn label me just another FEMINIST, but no I am no feminist per say. I just wish to express and help others men and women understand they're not Alone in the battle of life and more so for women because as we all know we're considered to be "the weaker vessel".

I'm just 25 and am sure I still got a lot to see and learn but in these years I've been able to understand certain social dynamics or rather have been exposed to in regards to the equality between men and women.

I want to start of by stating that "Men and Women are NOT Equal" .
We differ in anatomy, brain function, emotionally, physical power, priorities, etc etc.
However , I feel this understanding needs to be fine tuned in many communities, social circles, country laws, and more than anything in people's minds. People like you and me.

So, as I just said, Men and Women are not equal, however it's a different ball game when you think of this at a social democratic level and this is where I feel a change could do us all good and is crucial.

I still see and read about a lot of norms that women are still considered to follow or not-to-follow just because we're women. This may differ depending on country, community and social strata but
lets look at it this way :
"EQUALITY -{dictionary definition} - SAMENESS. Outside of religious philosophy, two things are equal when they are the same ??

I choose to Disagree. Unless we're calculating numbers here, I truly feel that such thought and mindset is destructive.
Math formula's have equals but We're Human and we don't .
We are not equal to anyone. I am not equal to you and you are not equal to me and men are not equal to women. This does not mean your superior neither does it mean I'm inferior".

Example 1- In many countries and communities, a woman's priority should be good education, marriage, children, in-laws and that's it.
Example 2- From many a man's perspective, a woman should be submissive, accepting, supportive, adapting, loving, caring, respectful and basically just say Yes to it all (as much as it hardly happens), it's what is expected. If she is not, she can never know when she's at the least, in for a lecture or a good telling from her husband of boyfriend or father about how she has failed as a woman.
Example 3- In a certain country, Women aren't allowed to Drive cars and it is essential that each woman Must Have a Male Guardian, be it her father, brother, husband. The guardian holds certain duties and rights over the woman and if one of these guardians aren't able to be there for the woman, ownership is passed over to the next man eligible to be her guardian. "Damn..I'd feel like an old hand-me-down sweatshirt".
Example 4- It does not look good when a woman is seen smoking or drinking in a mini skirt and having a blast in public. It looks shameful and she is said to be inviting trouble when she participates in such an activity. That is why when she is Raped, the first question asked is - Why was she dressed this way? Why was she drinking and smoking and behaving with such shameful conduct? Her character made her prey to Rape.
Example 5- In today's corporate world, women are growing from strength to strength however not all of them or not any of them get it as easy or through the same process as the men do.
Women are expected to go through series of tests by their bosses and colleagues to get to where they want to be backed up by diligence, hard work and diplomacy.

So you see, the 5 examples listed above have nothing to do with "SAMENESS". It's about being NOT considered Equal as a human being.

• If a man is required to be all that a woman is expected to be ...OMG..I can't find a way to even complete this sentence. 
• If a man is seen smoking and drinking and just having fun with his dudes, does anyone raise an eyebrow?
• If a man is told he isn't allowed to DRIVE?
• If a man is raped (wow, how often do we hear of that) because of his sexy attire and his drunken state? Leave the rest to your imagination
• A man can take his boss out for drinks or to a game and get his next promotion, what if a woman tries to do the same??? (I'm bursting out in laughter right as i complete this sentence).

The 5 points listed above are too, not about SAMENESS. Its about being considered Equal.

Relationships come to an end, Marriages fall apart, Divorces, Children without parents, Women Activist Groups, Feminists etc, I feel are all a cause of this INEQUALITY.

It's time each one of us, Men and Women take stock of this brutal reality and change the way they think. 

The minute YOU change, the World changes around YOU and the more positive change we see, The better the World gets around US.

Women are not Dolls or Merchandise to be passed around and tested and treated like robots. I get the fact that women are women and we have certain inevitable realities we're exposed to due to which we do have to be more careful in our dealings, our conduct etc just like a man does, it's just the degree that differs, especially in the degrading world we live in, however that doesn't we are going to sit back and let Life happen to US. The faster you accept that, the better. 

Hear This Ladies !!

Good Day, Guten Tag and Maasalama

Frieda